Real Happiness

As humans, we all struggle with our own baggage. We all wrestle with our own unhappiness. But when does one truly recognize a state of true happiness? At what point do we sit and think “life (in its totality) is good?”

I worked in the corporate world for 7 long years. I know, I know. Compared to those who work 20, 30, 40+ years in an industry, 7 is barely a drop in a bucket. But I realized my life had become stress, unhappiness and disappointment punctuated by brief moments of happiness. Birthdays, parties, holidays and moments of success were overshadowed by that trapped feeling I know we have all felt at one time or another.

We have all been told to be careful how you treat someone because “…everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about.” The thing is, usually we have all fought or are still fighting the same battle. It’s just dressed a little differently.

As I sit here, on my birthday, at my usual spot in Juan Valdez, I realize that this is what happiness really is. It is self-assured, self-satisfaction. I know I am exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing.

I know I didn’t get here alone. As a writer, I believe in the power of words. I know the prayers, thoughts and hopes of my family and friends got me here. And I know it is their unending support and encouragement that keep me here. And I know everyone is not as fortunate as I to have those.

Looking back, I understand that the reason for my unhappiness was not just my dislike of my job. It wasn’t just because I had the money but didn’t have the time to enjoy it. And it wasn’t because I had the time, but rarely had the funds with which to celebrate.

It was always so easy to blame my unhappiness on the job. I could point to those. And while those negatives were true and, often times, ever present, they had always been a part of the job. The problem was, I was no longer satisfied by the provisions of the job. I was no longer comfortable with myself in that position.

The problem was not the job. The problem was that I overstayed my season. If you keep feeding a 5 year old baby food, eventually he’ll get a little restless and crave something more. The unhappiness and discomfort I was feeling was because I had outgrown the position in which I continually chose to stay.

There’s something to be said about desiring your pre-determined destination, walking in your purpose toward it and living the mission for which you were created. There is a sense of contentment in that for which we all seek.

We were not meant to be ordinary. Whatever it is, your mission matters. Your hopes should have a home. Your love should be where you live.

For me, my home is here: pen, paper and thoughts. I might not have changed the world. But I changed my life. And while it still has its challenges, life is now contentment, tranquility and self-satisfaction punctuated with brief moments of adversity.

Happy birthday to me. This has been thee best gift I never knew I even needed.

And so, I continue to grow.